Rowan was running a successful business when she started experiencing anxiety, UTIs and heart palpitations that impacted her confidence and her career – but no one mentioned perimenopause
I lost my father when I was 39. He had brought me up, and I had cared for him before he died, and it hit me particularly hard. So, when I had the symptoms of what I now know as perimenopause, I initially thought it was grief. But then it went on, and on – even two years later I’d have emotional days when I couldn’t stop crying.
I had been a fit and active outdoor person my whole life and had been working in the equine industry, running a busy event yard, teaching and riding semi-professionally. Yet here I was in my early forties, suffering from broken sleep, anxiety and lost confidence. It began to have a serious impact on my riding career, as the anxiety became unbearable and I had panic attacks. I felt so unwell all the time – like someone had knocked me off my feet.
The only thing I knew – or thought I knew – about menopause at that point was that I wouldn’t have to worry about it until I was well into my fifties, and then it would just involve getting a bit hot and sweaty. How hard could that be? I spent half my life sweating doing physical work, anyway. I had no idea it could hit women of my age, or even in their twenties.
I’m sure now that by the time I was 42 I was perimenopausal. Hot flushes weren’t a big thing for me, but I was running a temperature and felt overheated the whole time. I developed urinary tract infections – I got electric shock pains through my pelvic area, had a really painful pelvis with cramping. I thought I was diabetic because I was really thirsty and wanted to go to the loo all the time.
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I went to see a GP because I thought I was run down. It was having a real impact on my life. I’d stopped competitive riding, but I was still trying to work and be active and do my day job. I had night sweats, I’d be shivering, and I’d be woken up with heart palpitations, which was really unnerving.
The GP ordered blood tests and everything came back negative. Further down the line, I was tested for Lyme disease, connective-tissue disorders, Addison’s disease but nobody even mentioned menopause or perimenopause.
I said to the doctor that I thought it was my hormones – that I thought my estrogen and testosterone were low – and asked if I could be tested for that. He couldn’t even look at me. He turned away and said I’d have to talk to someone who knew something about that.
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At this stage I was really struggling. This wasn’t like a cold or flu, something that would go away in a few weeks, it was constant. I saw another GP and she gave me HRT. But I wasn’t given any information about it. She asked me if I wanted patches, gel or tablets. How was I supposed to know? I said I’d try tablets, so she wrote the prescription and off I went.
Within three or four days, my temperature had come down, my dizziness and nausea had gone and I thought, ‘Thank God, it’s worked’. But after several months, the symptoms came back again – and my muscles ached, brain fog crept in and I felt utterly exhausted all the time. I went back to the GP. I had done some research and now knew I needed body-identical HRT – and a much higher dose.
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My life changed when I watched a menopause documentary and found a menopause specialist. I had to wait three months for the appointment and by that time I had been diagnosed with chronic fatigue. I tried to carry on, and then I slipped a disc in my back. I couldn’t work, I couldn’t stay awake - I was at rock bottom.
When I got to the specialist menopause clinic, I finally felt listened to. They understood what was going on, and the help I needed. I was told to keep increasing the dose of the estrogen every two weeks until I felt better. I was on testosterone as well, and after several months, I felt great. All my symptoms had eased, the chronic fatigue had lifted, the brain fog had gone and I was back to teaching. It took longer to sort out the progesterone, but I feel brilliant.
Now I volunteer at my local GP practice, running menopause-support meetings. This isn’t just a meet-up-and-have-coffee thing – it’s a place where women can come and gain more knowledge about menopause and how to deal with their symptoms with up-to-date medical information. I’ve also set up a Facebook group.
I’m very lucky to feel as good as I do now, but it hasn’t been without a fight. Women shouldn’t have to go through this. We’ve got to come out of the dark ages, and there’s still a long way to go.
